


Broken Dolls

by faithinthepoor



Series: Dollhouse [1]
Category: Dollhouse
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 18:03:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the return of Caroline in the world of Epitaph One</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Dolls

Dewitt collapses beside her looking bone weary. “How is he?”

“He’s finally asleep. I think he’s frightened that he won’t be able to make the trip.”

“He should be.”

“I know. I was just hoping that he wouldn’t have enough awareness to recognise that he’s a liability.”

She takes a moment to contemplate the situation, “I’ll do my best to sedate him tomorrow. I’ll try to make him quiet but able to move.”

“Thank you,” the gratitude in DeWitt’s voice is palpable.

“You didn’t think I’d help him.”

“I know you hate him.”

“I try not to. It’s hard, even now the imprint is so strong. I don’t have to like him to want to help him. He imprinted me with scruples to go along with my irrational hatred of him.”

“You know there is a possibility that you would have hated him all on your own.”

“Is that meant to be comforting?”

Dewitt’s laugh is dry, “Maybe. He did go around calling you The Phantom.”

“I don’t think it was entirely inaccurate he just had the wrong phantom in mind. I never felt the need to cover my scars and in the end it turns out that there isn’t a part of me that's real. I am just a ghost who walks.”

Fingers trace over the once again smooth plains of her face, “Do you still picture yourself with scars?”

“They will always be a part of me. I used to think they were a warning that we were children playing with matches and we were all going to get burnt.”

“And now?”

“It seems a little late for warnings and I don’t want pity from people who signed their life away.”

“Like you did?” Adelle asks quietly.

“Like _she_ did,” she corrects. “I’m not her. Did you like him?”

“Him?”

“Dr Saunders. The _real_ Saunders if there ever was such a thing.”

“He was a loyal employee.”

She sighs, even a world where corporate politics are obsolete DeWitt choses her words carefully, “Is he why you’re with me?”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“You prefer men.”

“Usually.”

“You had many private engagements with Victor but none with any of the female actives.”

“I had engagements with Victor but that doesn’t mean they were of the variety that you are implying.”

“I did his physical examinations. I didn’t need to be all that thorough to find the hickeys.”

DeWitt blushes, a rare sight, “I guess I get enthusiastic at times.”

“I’m aware,” she replies opening her collar to show the fading marks on her chest.

Adelle places small kisses over the bruises, “I never really liked the other Dr Saunders, he was good at this job but I found him to be a bit of a sap.”

“So it’s just that I’m your one remaining doll then,” she tries to keep the bitterness from her voice. She knew when this started that DeWitt was incapable of love.

“If that were true I would have had Topher add the Roger imprint to your medical knowledge.”

“So you thought about that?”

“No. How could I? When everyone here made the decision to be actuals you declined. I had to respect that.”

“I know that I’m just a bunch of ones and zeros stored in a wedge but I feel real. I didn’t want to die.”

“You feel real to me too,” DeWitt assures her and pulls her to snuggle against her, “but aren’t you curious about who you were?”

“Whoever she was things were bad enough that she chose to give up a large chunk of her life to oblivion. I don’t think this would be a better world for her to wake up in.”

“I never envisioned that things would get this bad. I think I even managed to convince myself that we were doing good.”

“I know, that’s why I love you.”

“You love me?” she can understand DeWitt’s surprise. They are not prone to declarations of this nature.

“I’m as capable of having a deluded emotion as anyone else. Besides my options are pretty limited.”

“Well in that case I’m incredibly flattered.”

“You should be. I have worked on my beside manner over the years.”

“Are you going to give me a lollypop when we’re done?”

“If you’re a brave girl,” her words were meant to be playful but they hit DeWitt like a bucket of ice. “Are you frightened about tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure there is going be much of a tomorrow for me.”

“Caroline didn’t kill you and she won’t leave you behind either.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I can actually.”

“You talked about this with her.”

“I made her promise to keep you safe.”

It’s not exactly an audible gulp but she can feel DeWitt’s forceful swallow, “Are you staying with me tonight?

“Of course,” Dewitt seems to melt down onto the couch in response to her words. She grabs the blankets they store under it and then positions herself so she is lying against DeWitt listening to her heartbeat. They never sleep in the pods even though they are actually more comfortable than the couch. Despite the fall of the empire DeWitt still separates herself from the general populous. 

“I keep thinking about tomorrow.”

“Of course you do.”

“In a way it will be your first time outside of the Dollhouse.”

“I have memories of a world above the ground but you’re right in a way I’ve never been there. It doesn’t matter because I’m not coming.”

“Yes you are.”

“I can’t.”

“It won’t be easy for any of us.”

“But I’m the only one who has to worry about the cure. We don’t know what it will do to me. If it stops imprinting what will it do to me?”

“I did wonder about that.”

“But you were going to take me with you anyway.”

“You’re what has kept me sane, how could I possibly leave you behind?”

“You have to. I need to stay where I can do the most good. I would have left here long ago if I wasn’t needed.”

“Your skills are in helping people and they will go to waste if we leave you here alone.”

“That’s the other thing I need to talk to you about.”

“What?” Adelle sounds wary.

“I won’t be here. The Dollhouse doesn’t need a doctor anymore. It does need someone with just enough knowledge to point any other survivors in the right direction and I can be that someone.”

“You’re asking me to turn you into Whiskey? Claire I can’t do that.”

“I don’t need you to, I can do it on my own but I want you to be there.”

“You want me to watch you kill yourself?” Dewitt is shaking.

“You’ve watched thousands of imprints being removed.”

“This is hardly the same Claire.”

“You coped with the Roger imprint being removed from Victor.”

“That was a pointless, ridiculously over the top fantasy.”

“He was just as real as I am.”

“Not to me. I love you.”

“Then be there with me.”

DeWitt doesn’t reply she just nods and holds her tighter. They don’t speak again. They make love at a leisurely pace, as though they need to believe they have all the time in the world. They spend the rest of the night looking into one another’s eyes making silent promises that they cannot keep. Adelle holds her hand as she lowers herself into chair and a solitary tear slides down DeWitt’s face, “You won’t even remember us. Remember me.”

“Then you’ll have to make sure that you live so that you can remember for both of us.” She sees Adelle nod and then the world goes fuzzy. 

Her eyes open and she feels groggy and disorientated, “Did I fall asleep?”

“For a little while,” it’s not Topher which is strange as he normally gives her her treatments and DeWitt seems to be crying.

“Shall I go now?” nothing feels right.

“If you like.”

She stops at the door and turns back to DeWitt, “Was I not my best?”

“No Whiskey you were perfect,” Dewitt says and rushes out past her. She is sure that she can’t have been her best. She will have to try harder. After alll, every day is a chance to be better.


End file.
